Nisa Muhammad: Raise Your Hands High!!!!

This is an online poll for parents who want to help their children make great decisions. First question. How many mothers and fathers want their daughters to be single moms, having to parent and provide at the same time? Raise your hands high if you want your daughter to have to wait for a child support check, negotiate daddy visits every other weekend, holidays and a month in the summer. If you want your daughter to navigate the murky waters of rejection when their baby’s daddy decides to marry someone else, raise your hands high. I’m counting.

The poll continues with the next question. How many parents want your sons to face child support enforcement, possible wage garnishment, and possible jail time or having a child too soon and being unprepared for the responsibility? Raise your hands high. How many want your sons to face a baby mama gatekeeper who decides when and if they can see their child? Someone who decides when and if you as grandparents can even see your grandchild. Raise your hands high. I’m counting, looking high and low but I don’t see any hands.

This is what we want for our children, right? That’s why we have the highest out of wedlock birthrates in America. It’s why Black teens debut sexually earlier than other teens. It’s why our teen pregnancy rate though going down is still higher than anyone else’s. This is what we want, right. I’m looking for the hands but for some strange reasons, I don’t see any.

Not surprising.

I ask those questions all around the country as I travel to bring the message that marriage matters to the Black community. Every time I ask, without fail, the answers are the same, one hundred percent of the time in large cities and small, urban and rural, Black and white alike. No one raises their hands; no one wants that for their children. Ideally we want our children to settle down to a good choice, get married and then have children. It’s the American dream of wedded bliss. Unfortunately we do very little if anything to help them reach those goals. We’re good when it comes to talking to them about their education, getting excellent grades and going to the right college to help them achieve their career goals.
But, what about their personal goals? What about helping them develop healthy relationships and a healthy marriage? Some of us know the pain and heartache of being a single parent. We know the struggles of dealing with this parent, that parent and then trying to bring a new spouse into all of that commotion. Yet we don’t even give our children a warning sign or a yield, danger ahead when they venture into the world of relationships. Do we think out of wedlock childbirths are just inevitable so we don’t address the topic? That has pretty much been the history of

our community for the past 50 years but we can do something to change it.

No wedding, no womb! That has to be our mantra. We can create generations that value marriage and want the best for themselves and their children.

The facts are clear. The children of marriage parents do much better on nearly every scale of health, education, wellbeing and more. Marriage is the best environment to raise children. Marriage is where men and women can be all they want to be with the help and support of a caring spouse.

Next question. As an adult you may have made different decisions for yourself but as a parent don’t you want what’s best for your child? Today, marriage separates the haves, from the have nots. Don’t you want to put your children in a position to be the best they can be? When I ask those questions hands go up immediately.

Here’s where the poll ends. Talk to your children about the value of marriage and its incredible benefits. If you’re clueless visit and find a list of benefits that you can discuss and ways to start the conversation.

All those in favor of “no wedding, no womb”, raise your hands high. I’m counting.

No Wedding No Womb needs your help! We are in urgent need for seed money for the “Map Your Future” campaign, the first online, remoter mentorship platform for at-risk teens and young adults. Please help us meet our minimum goals to build the digital platform by clicking here.

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