NWNW: A Young Man’s Perspective

A Young Man’s Perspective
Kevin K.J. Beckles, age 19
Sixth Form Government Secondary School/The Polytechnic Institute
Trinidad and Tobago

Some people believe that holding your virginity for that special someone is an easy task, like going shopping, doing chores, or tending to any other possible errand you can imagine. We’ll try tending to that same errand for seventeen going on eighteen years. It’s going to be difficult, isn’t it? That pressure is nothing compared to holding on to your virginity, for that person you believe is to be your future soul mate. It’s hard, for both sexes to hold on to something so precious, so pure and true. Especially for girls as they mature faster than boys… that doesn’t mean, that girls out there can leave us in the dust about their perspectives on abstinence, oh hell no. as a young man it’s not an ordinary walk in the park, with all your hormones raging on the inside, along with being in love with someone that you think is “the one” for you. It’s not easy. A young man’s perspective on love is not easy.

Do you know what it’s like being in love? I’m not talking about that stupid puppy love, where you’re always giggling, smiling and blushing B.S. I’m talking about long lasting, passionate, sensational yet non intimate love, you know the kind that you find when you’re courting, or when you think that you’ve found the one. Well I’ve found it in a girl, well at least the 95% of it you see. The other 5% I’m worried about is sex but before I get to that, let’s` take a crash course of how all this happened.

I can remembered the first time when I saw her, well not exactly like time, date, weather conditions, because that would be kind of weird. Though, I glimpse of a beautiful creature that leaned over the schools balcony, with her short braids, blue polo shirt, black jeans, and those cute yet dirty puma shoes. And as I crossed the school yard, already being late for class, I was fascinated by her grace, charm, beauty and love that I saw in her eyes and instantly, I was captivated from that day on. As time passed, we became good friends, especially since we were in the same accounting class. And I fell for her even more, because within the first school term, I saw qualities in her that matched mines. Now you could imagine how a 17 going on 18yr old felt? You don’t? All I can say is that what I felt couldn’t be put into words, but it was an emotion that is worth being felt in your lifetime. And soon after I was in love.
Hmmm… The sweet symphony of young, innocent yet pure, love. I loved her so much that I began to write numerous poems for her, which varied from, passionate, sweet and fun filled, to erotic, intimate and stimulating. And she enjoyed every one, and it pleased me so much to see the expression on her face every time she read one. Eventually, I got closer to her and I told her those three magic words which either meant”life or death” for our friendship. Well our friendship didn’t die. But it changed, I don’t know how to explain it but, as we began to speak less and less, I saw a passionate side of her began to emerge, and glances of intensity began to emerge, and our hearts were the translators of the secret yet silent messages hidden in our eyes. And it was always paradise, for me in particular, until that dreaded day came about where I was engaged into the theme of ‘Abstinence ‘by my friends, and that particular topic, of “sex before marriage” came up. And as usual comments flew across the stage, about whether about if it’s right or wrong, and who they think is their soul mate and so on. Though what really caught my attention was a comment made when she said “I can’t hold it so long, I believe that if I find I guy that I like, and I wanna f**k then I have no problem”. I stood in silence and shock for a few seconds well as I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, from the person that I was ready to plan my life around, was talking such garbage. So I mustered up what little strength that remained from that “bullet wound” and replied, “So what if that’s all the guy wants you for what then?” surprisingly yet idiotically she exclaimed, “Well if it’s that I can get then and if that’s all he wants, then so be it” I was in complete awe and amazement (and not the good type) as I heard those idiotic statements loud and clear. In spite of feeling hurt and depressed I held on to my beliefs and rebutted with all the strength, correction with a little dose of love” I will hold on to my virginity for as long as it takes, and the only time I’m going to have sex is when there is a ring on my finger because I love God and I’m showing my pre faithfulness to someone that God has in store for me and I’m not going against what I believe is right”

The conversation quickly became dead after that and everyone stood I the awkward silence for a few seconds, then the subject of “celebrities” was used as a scapegoat to counteract for the silence, but I couldn’t help think: is that truly her perspective on the intimate part of love? Because from the emotional aspect that I’ve experienced, it’s truly beautiful, but I won’t let that side of her so-called love get the best of me, because I know that when someone says what they mean, they mean what they say, and that applies to me as well.

After that dismal conversation, our friendship began to travel downwards; she spoke to me less and less frequently; she wouldn’t even be in the same spot with me and soon after, she wouldn’t even look at me. She treated me as though if I contracted the plague. Obviously it wasn’t a “bed of roses” on my part, just the thought of loving her and realizing that she may never talk to you again of even love you, was enough torture for me, but I will hold steadfast to my beliefs and the laws of God. Because when God closes a door for you, he opens a better one for you. All I have to say is that never lower your standards to meet that of anyone else, especially when it may go against your religious and ethical beliefs, because we all know, that abstaining from sex until marriage is not an easy walk in the park, but hold on to God’s hand and he will always guide you through any trials and tribulations, because he will never give you. It’s a task that you cannot solve on your own…

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