Rainebeauxese Redux: We ARE the problem.

*Maury Povich voice optional*

A year has passed since No Weddin, NO Womb came to town as a stark reminder of AAs’ abysmal OOW birthrate. Most of the original contributors have saddled up once again to speak a little louder. If you’re still not down with the cause, that’s okay…agree to (respectfully!) disagree and all that jazz. For those of you who were in the categories below but had a change of heart along the way, welcome aboard: we need all the help we can get to get the word out for the last dozen or so fence-sitters.

Riddle me this, though: WHY AM I STILL HEARING/READING THIS MALARKEY A YEAR LATER?! (More importantly, why am I repeating it–albeit in fewer words?)

EXISTING UNWED MOTHERS (the “babymamas”, if you will): Christelyn was one of you. I’M one of you. For the last time, I kindly request that you put down the gotdayum oven-fried, pride-encrusted Evillene 2.0 breastplate and just admit that you GOOFED. You/we don’t need the company–that is and always has been the bottom line of this movement. There’s no judgment here! STOP DEFENDING DYSFUNCTION AND UNNECESSARY STRUGGLE.
To the LGBTQI populace (and your allies): I am fully aware that a good number of you are raising children, but um, technically, you’re not padding the skyrocketing numbers here….YOUR HETERO COHORTS ARE. Please adjust your side-eye coordinates.
The “don’t police my uterus, bro” stampede, the stand alone AND the previous two groups combined: I see your superfluous protestations (and my responses above) and raise you COMMON SENSE APPARENTLY AIN’T COMMON. Again, we’re trying to pull the younger and/or (likely) least among us from the cliff’s edge.
*Kurt Loder face*

Soooo….got any better ideas or solutions outside of all this and/or the name-calling after all this time? No? Oh. THEN KINDLY HAVE ALL OF THE DAMN SEATS. Please and thank you.

As for the rest of you, let’s refocus and give these suggestions another shot:

Leave the divorcees and widows out of this! (they tried, death and other stuff got in the way. also, there are waaaaaay fewer sistas in the latter category. *shrug*)
The collective pointy fingers airbrushed with racism, heternormative, slavery, agenda, and other accusatory, red herring shaped keywords that have NOTHING to do with “yo, our people are losing having these babies without a plan for the future/decent income/fathers” in conjunction with scrolls of numbers and blockades shaped like dissertations?! SAVE. THEM.
TRY TO PRETEND Christelyn is not penning an IR book alongside getting this movement going. Apples and zebus, people–macro, not micro.
WE ARE NOT–and the Rock means ARE NOT–overtly or covertly encouraging young ladies to marry any ole dude off the street just so Junior can have both parents under the roof with him/her!!!

And now for something completely harsh: an excerpt of what DIDN’T make it to the final draft of last year’s post….

~”we need more schools/jobs/social programs/welfare…”

{evil chuckle} oooh, the money shot, the BRASS RING of obfuscation…

*ahem* EXCUSE ME!? I spy with my little eye…American History, Sociology, Civics and Economics FAIL!!! Get your damn shovels out of layaway posthaste and dig this: ALL BUT TWO (unless I’m mistaken and skipped a paragraph, the Dakotas don’t look too shabby) of these so-called United States ARE EFFIN’ BROKE. These programs/entities are and have been THE FIRST STOPS on the Budget Cuts Tour! Don’t even get me started on globalization, continued outsourcing, double-digit unemployment (OURS), or…how ’bout that explosion of heavily-degreed TGIFriday’s (just one example) non-managerial employees!? Oh, and did you hear about many big cities (Detroit is but one example) going back to…well, prairie–the REVERSE of that old Joni Mitchell chestnut? Or Senate bill S510–the one that can render our vegetable gardens ILLEGAL if it hasn’t already been passed?!

You can also miss me with the “butbutbut the bruthamenz can’t get jobs to take care of the bebehs!” chow chow, dig it! Quiet as kept, it’s almost ALWAYS been the overgrown, un[der]employed, and un[der]developed mofos–more often than not fatherless themselves–who are making these babies! Mork calling Orson, come in Orson…HELLO, IS THIS THING ON!?

{killing all three proverbial birds with one stone in three…two…one…}
To wit: I’ll see your “new slavery” proposal and raise you HUD-director-turned-New York Senator DANIEL PATRICK MOYNIHAN (RIP), who saw our (near) death-by-fatherlessness coming FORTY-FIVE YEARS AGO! What was the thanks *he* got? Oh, just the black folks from all but the uppermost class tiers with some feminists on the side shouting him down, denying the painfully obvious, and even citing….wait for it…the emergence of a black MATRIARCHY.


WOMP. I can’t, dude. Retroactively or otherwise.

Historical context and the racial atmosphere then be damned: it shouldn’t have taken a white man to point this out. *sigh* And now? our own people, famous and not, can’t tell some of us ANYTHING. As illustrated above, the AA collective is all the poorer for it. I blame all of us, really–more precisely, some of our parents and grandparents who failed miserably to stop this cultural(?) bumrush–nay, hemorrhaging!–before the resignation set in. Before dysfunction and mediocrity across the board were normalized, celebrated and rewarded. Before it became fashionable for women my age NOW to be grandparents. Before the Dunbar Village and Rowan Towers Atrocities. Before most of us (and our children, where applicable) got left the hell behind. I strongly advise you all to read (and REREAD–ALOUD) the literary classic that the late Sen. Moynihan left behind…maybe then, after this much-needed funkin’ history lesson, you’ll reconsider asking us to kill ourselves (collectively) by producing children in a compromised mental/emotional/physical/financial/educational state.

*exasperated sigh* We cool for the most part? Good. Remember, sports fans: one accord…or Yaris…or something. Put on some Frankie Beverly and Maze if necessary.

Finally, here’s a recent post to help clear things up.


*drops mic*

*kicks hole in speaker*

*pulls plug*



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