Why No Wedding, No Womb Is Common Sense


The World of Miss Glamtastic

My entry is super-late (I’ve been stretching myself super-thin, and I’m exhausted.) Rather than wax poetic about why getting married and having a loving, stable relationship before making babies is a good idea, I figured I’d be real. As a happily married woman and expectant mother, I have personally experienced some of the benefits of being in a loving marriage before becoming pregnant. I’ll just discuss a few reasons why “No Wedding, No Womb” is a good darn idea.

-Because babies are expensive

Yes, I’ve been looking down the baby aisles: clothes, diapers, formula, furniture, all that stuff. And yes, it all costs. A lot. Babies grow super-fast: they eat a lot, go through tons of diapers, constantly outgrow clothing, toys, and even childcare providers (depending on the age limits of your babysitter/day care provider.) It takes money to care for babies. Not only is a steady income needed just to purchase the necessities, but insurance is a helpful thing to have, since babies occasionally get sick (if you’re lucky, it’s just occasional.) One look at a doctor’s bill without the insurance applied will snap anyone back to reality. I know grown women (who were single mothers) who still have hospital bills from their kids, who are now in their 20s. One steady income is helpful, two is great. Even if one parent opts to stay at home, the savings in childcare costs alone would equal the income from a part-time job. A single-parent household only has one person who could possibly generate income, and if that person becomes sick, everyone in the house suffers financially. Count the costs, ladies, count the costs.

-Because pregnancy hormones (and accompanying mood swings) are real

Anyone who’s been pregnant can tell you: being pregnant is a mixed bag. It can be wonderful: lots of happy moments thinking about the sweet little person your body is creating. It can be sad: weird feelings where future moms second guess their ability to be a good parent. Those mood swings (courtesy of hormones) are harsh sometimes, causing even the sweetest woman to become a shadow of her former self. I’ll speak from personal experience here: I know that my pregnancy has not been easy for my husband. My husband, who’s in love with me, is probably confused a lot of times, and wants to hide. However, he loves me: he doesn’t want to leave me. He just wants a little shelter from me sometimes LOL! But my family and friends? My dear sweet momma? They are only tolerating me and my slightly more erratic ways. They would probably strangle me, but the double guilt would weigh too heavily on their consciences. Pregnant women can be evil, and it’s not easy loving a moody, hormonal woman. A loving husband is one of the best things a hormonal woman can have. Not only can he withstand some of those moody blows, but he can likely prevent and alleviate a lot of the lows of pregnancy. How’s that for double duty?

-Because you really DON’T have to be Superwoman

The first and third trimesters are the toughest, physically, during a pregnancy. Babies are like iPods, and average human body is kind of like a 6-pack of AA batteries. Eventually, babies suck up all your energy, and you have to go somewhere and recharge. I sleep, a whole lot more, since getting pregnant. In fact, most days, all I want to do is eat a little and lay down. I won’t even get into morning sickness (which strikes all during the day, not just during the mornings.) Nausea is a daily companion, as is general fatigue and even some achiness. Why am I telling you this? Because I don’t even have the energy to cook and clean for myself most days: I’d probably starve if my husband didn’t make sure that I eat. Only a few fortunate women go through their pregnancies without any discomfort; most women will feel some adverse effect of pregnancy. Many women have a combination of uncomfortable conditions during their pregnancy. Think about it: this stuff is all happening before the baby gets here. What about after the baby is born? Ever tried doing anything slightly productive while caring for a newborn? The only thing that happens is the newborn finds any and every way to stop you once you appear to be making progress. Babies are demanding: they need two sets of hands: one set to care for baby’s needs, one set to care for everything else. The best scenario is two parents, alternating duties, so that baby and the home are both cared for adequately. No one says you have to do it all by yourself: avoid going solo, please.

-Because death happens

Hate to end this on a negative note, but I’m gonna be real: death happens. No matter how well we prepare, time and circumstance will put us face-to-face with death at some point. Marriage offers financial benefits: spousal benefits (paid upon death) can help to lessen the financial blow of losing a sourse of income. Not to mention the fact that it’s a lot easier to get benefits for your minor children when you’re married as opposed to trying to establish paternity post-death. Anyone who’s tried to divvy up property after someone dies can tell you: effective planning as a family unit is a major headache reducer. It’s a serious matter, but as a parent, it must be considered, for the kids’ sake.

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